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“It’s easier for lions to live on green grass than for suburban men to find gratitude for their food.” ~ the WiseFool

Since we profess to be a Christian nation, it’s time we asked: What would Jesus eat if he lived amongst us here in America?

Why, he would eat anything offered to him with LOVE. Even if it’s a pig in a blanket from the smelly hog farms of North Carolina? Yes. Even if it’s Kellog’s cornflakes made from Monsanto’s genetically-engineered corn from Iowa? Yes. Even if it’s milk from the dairy cows of California pumped up with rBST? Yes.

But then, he’s Jesus; he can get away with anything. And you can too. Just as soon as you learn to turn tap water into beer by snapping your fingers and wishing it. Read the rest of this entry »

“If gramma don’t recognize what’s in it — it ain’t food.” ~ the WiseFool

Koo-ta-ching. Koo-ching. Koo-ta-ching. That’s the sound of coins right outside my front door. What might it be? If you were a mouse, you might think you were roosting beneath the cash register of a high-traffic retail joint.

Ha! There is a vending machine right outside my downtown apartment in Portland, Oregon. It stocks everything from Pop Tarts to Starburst candy to Cheetos chips. Needless to say, my front door is the most popular spot in the entire building. It’s a happening place, 24/7. I should be flattered, but I know better. Read the rest of this entry »