tree

“In the digital age, the tree of wisdom grows neither in the East nor the West — but somewhere in the middle. Will you meet me there?”
~ the Wise Fool

“Sir, is there anyone sitting here?” she asks anxiously.
“No,” replies the man, equally anxious. I don’t blame him for being less than enthused about giving up the prized vacant seat next to him on this excruciatingly long flight of 9hrs. That’s like giving up your extra candy bar to a total stranger — not knowing when (or if) you’ll see the next one.
“Do you mind if I seat someone here? There are some people on this flight who are sitting two to a seat,” she groans. Her voice is a sincere plea, but is delivered in a tone guaranteed to melt even a heart of stone. And indeed there are some on this airplane.

But that phrase, “two to a seat” has me all tied up in knots for the next few minutes. Really? Holy smokes. I know India is over-populated, but still — two to a seat? That’s too damn graphic. As someone of Indian origin, I can’t help but take this information personally. If the hostess is telling the truth — and why wouldn’t she? — I find this way of transporting my people across the seas quite disturbing.

It turns out that my thoughts have little to do with reality. The “two per seat” is really about babies. Duh. The hostess makes several frantic rounds up and down the aisles, wading through a sea of brown faces. Most are families, which means there are plenty of children on this flight. It is a veritable circus, but the entire slew of Dutch hostesses is genuinely gracious. I’m flying KLM Dutch Airlines flight from Amsterdam, Holland to Hyderabad, India, which flies once a day. There are more than thirty rows on this MD-11, nine seats in each row, three sections, and two aisles. I’m in an aisle seat in the middle section. In the section to my right are two families, each with a baby riding on a lap. As soon the hostess finds a vacant seat, she offers it to the first family. The man, a grandpa, hesitates, then moves to his new seat begrudgingly. That creates an empty seat for the baby, which, not surprisingly, the baby wants no part of. The little girl wants to stay with her mommy. Can you blame her? After several rounds up and down, and more frantic hustling the hostess comes up with another vacant seat, which she now offers to the second family. But the man, a father, does not seem eager and stays put. The hostess comes back and repeats her offer to the man, and moves on with her chores. The man is still reluctant. If he moves, he’ll be doing her a favor; funny, she thinks she’s doing him a favor. I turn to the man and ask him, “Do you want to move?” He says, “No.” “Then don’t!” I exclaim, and add, “Just tell her you don’t want to move.” As intelligent as Indians can be, when it comes to being assertive they can be awfully dumb. Some are painfully shy when dealing with authoritative caucasians. All my attempts to get him to speak up for himself come to no avail. After fretting and squirming for several minutes, the man manages to squeal, “I’m OK here.” When she presses him again a few minutes later, he pleads, “I am fine here. I may move later.” To which she yelps, “Why? Why do you want to sit two to a seat?” He has no answer. Unable to take this much longer, I attempt to give voice to the poor man and inform the hostess, “Listen, I know you’re trying to help these people, but some of them simply don’t want to move. They’d rather be together.” The hostess looks visibly stunned at this news, hurt even. After all that effort this is what she gets to hear? “Alright then….” she mumbles to herself, throws her hands in the air, but manages a feeble smile and leaves. The matter seems settled. Hallelujah. We can get off the ground now.

As the plane zooms forward for takeoff, I mumble to the passenger next to me, “It’s just a clash of cultures, you know. The West favors ….” She finishes my sentence, “…independence while the East favors relationships.” (It’s nice when a stranger can read your thoughts, ain’t it?) The first results in innovation, which I admire. The second results in community, which I also admire. Eastern folks would rather hang together than be separated, especially in an unfamiliar situation. Though the hostess means well, perhaps she’s wrong to enforce her values on a different culture. Am I right? Well, I’m to find out within a few hours. Meanwhile, with my eyes wide shut, I let my easily amused mind ponder on the meaning of this innocuous seat incident.

Independence when taken too far results in isolation. Proof? The biggest killer in America is not heart disease; it is loneliness. Relationships when taken too far result in clinginess. Proof? Many Indians and other ethnic minorities come to America, stick with their flock, don’t venture out and never dip into the heart of American culture. Consequently after living here for forty years they still can’t tell the difference between a New Yorker and a Mid-westener. East or West — who’s right? Both and neither. (When I say “East” I mean both the eastern half of our planet as well the southern hemisphere. In short, any indigenous culture with a long history and tradition. In general, the third world. By “West,” I mean Europe, America and such.)

I propose that what just happened here on the airplane is a microcosm of what’s at play in the world at large. The world is an airplane; we ain’t out of gas yet and are still flying. The seats are its limited resources; there are more people (passengers) than there are resources (seats). The East and West have dramatically different solutions to the exact same problem. The East is perfectly happy to make do with less resources (which is very admirable). The West believes that acquiring more resources will make our lives more convenient (which, though true, if the rest of the world were to emulate, it would do us in), and has the technology to do it with. Who is right? Regardless, it makes one wonder: What are the reasons behind the eastern tendency to consume fewer resources in the first place? One reason, the obvious one, is that the East simply has more people and less money to go around. Another reason is that it has historically lacked the technology, organizing power and the spirit of innovation that drives the West. What’s not obvious, and this is very fascinating, is this: The East values relationships more than material comforts. This last reason is what I believe the West would do well to emulate.

Back to the airplane: Two hours later, the crying babies are sleeping peacefully. They’re not sleeping with their parents, but on their bellies — in the extra seats provided by the hostess. Needless to say, I am humbled. Kudos to the hostess. The extra seats, thanks to the hostess, have proven to be an absolute godsend for the parents. No matter how much you love your child, it’s hard to hold your baby for 9 hours straight. The extra seat provides just the respite the parents need. So it turns out that both East and West are right: When the babies were awake, the East was in the right (the extra seats were useless). When the babies slept, the West was in the right (the extra seats were welcome).

Perhaps the outcome of this little seat incident offers solutions to challenges we face as a planet. The East and the West need each other; each would be dull without the other, and, more importantly, neither has the complete answer. Our future hinges, I believe, on the East and West learning to party together: Quantum physics and the Tao, Brain research and the Vedas — all sipping wine and doing tango beneath the Tree of Life.

Here is the East’s message to the West: You can learn from us about the value of relationships; it’ll cut down on your consumption. Convenience is great, but not if it insulates you from each other and from the earth. Technology is great, but not if it disconnects your from your body and from your feelings.

Conversely, here’s the West’s message to the East: You can learn from us about enterprise and innovation; you can learn that there is no need to sacrifice the self for the sake of the whole — for it breeds resentment. Tradition and culture are great, but not if it keeps you from thinking for yourself. Relationships and community are great, but not if it keeps you from relating to someone from a different culture.

If I was looking for the ripe fruit of wisdom on this journey to the East, I found it neither in the West nor the East, but somewhere in the middle — on an airplane, amidst grinning babies over international waters. Might as well bite into it and enjoy it. From Hyderabad, India, the drunken rat wishes you a Happy Chinese New Year. Cheers, mate!

Namaste, Sage