“It’s easier for lions to live on green grass than for suburban men to find gratitude for their food.” ~ the WiseFool

Since we profess to be a Christian nation, it’s time we asked: What would Jesus eat if he lived amongst us here in America?

Why, he would eat anything offered to him with LOVE. Even if it’s a pig in a blanket from the smelly hog farms of North Carolina? Yes. Even if it’s Kellog’s cornflakes made from Monsanto’s genetically-engineered corn from Iowa? Yes. Even if it’s milk from the dairy cows of California pumped up with rBST? Yes.

But then, he’s Jesus; he can get away with anything. And you can too. Just as soon as you learn to turn tap water into beer by snapping your fingers and wishing it.

Yes indeed, “love” can more than makeup for what’s missing in your fried chicken — but this love thing better be the real deal. You know, l-o-v-e, the impossible kind, the soul-churning kind, the kind we associate with Jesus, the prince of peace. The kind that says, “poison me, and I’ll repay you with kindness.”

That said, would Jesus willingly choose industrial food that’s devoid of a soul? If he did, he wouldn’t be Jesus. So then what would the messiah eat, left to his own devices?

Before we figure that one out, let’s ponder on the foods we already associate with Jesus. What comes to mind? Fish, of course. Others would include lamb, bread and wine. We can safely conclude that, unlike Buddha, Jesus was neither a vegetarian nor a vegan in his time. (A vegetarian would not multiply fish to feed his followers; he’d aim for potatoes or heads of brocilli instead.)

But if Jesus was amongst us today and if factory-farmed meat were his ONLY choice — he’d most certainly be a vegetarian.

The second “if” above is a big if. Turns out, factory-farmed meat is not your only option; there are other inexpensive sources available — if you care to look. They may be inconvenient, but they do exist, are more sustainable, and will preserve your health in the long haul.

Jesus would like his lamb kabobs from a local farmer, not the supermarket. Not because he’s a snob — but because he prefers real food. (Again, if he didn’t know the difference between real and fake food, he wouldn’t be Jesus.) Jesus would know that the mighty food corporation has only managed to beat the small family farmer into the shadows, not snuffed him out. Not only is the family farmer alive and well, he’s making a comeback. You just need to know where to look.

Jesus wouldn’t need to ask you where the cheese burger you offer him comes from — because he already knows. He would know if the bovine that gave up its life to become his food was treated with kindness or if it came from a downer cow. Which is why, he would prefer local farmers who treat their small herds like pets.

The words “sustainable” and “organic” meant nothing back in his time because back then — ALL food practices were just that. Today Jesus would promote organic and sustainable food practices where ever he went. He would favor organic food — but not if it is shipped from the other side of the planet, has to travel many time zones or has a huge corporation behind it.

He would argue that organic means absolutely nothing if it’s not from a small, local operation. He would pour that entire carton of Horizon Organic milk down the drain after you leave.

Jesus would prefer food in season. So those Watermelons, Peaches, Mangoes and Bananas in the produce aisles of Wisconson in the dead of winter (shipped from the southern hemisphere) would not impress him at all.

Bread he breaks with companions likely came from a local baker, made from locally harvested grains. He would hang with the salt-of-the-earth folks at the local pub, not the suit-and-tie corporate types. He would hang with local farmers, local fishermen, local merchants, and local artisans. In short, he would get his daily food from friends, people he actually knows, folks he has real relationships with.

Jesus would never ask you to avoid meat, unless, of course, it does not suit your constitution. He would not go around pushing tofu on you either. But if vegetarian or vegan lifestyle suits you fine, he would not make you feel like a freak. If you like your sprouts, he’d gently remind you to lay off your fellow carnivores.

And if you’re someone who believes that you’ll dry up and blow away like a tumble weed if you don’t eat your meat, he would ask, “Really? Why not find out for yourself? Not everyone needs meat or needs it at every meal, you know. If you like your burgers, no need to gorge on them until your hearts give out.”

Sure, Jesus could, with his attitude alone, neutralize the toxins in our modern-day factory-farmed food. But would a wise man routinely expend his precious life energy on something that does not deserve it? If he did, he wouldn’t be wise. Instead, Jesus would prefer to nip the problem in the bud. He would advocate fixing the problem at the source, as it were.

Finally, Jesus would remind you that when it comes to food — gratitude is king. If you cannot find gratitude for anything that you put into mouth — it’s not food. Genuine gratitude can make up for any and all flaws in your food. Then again, if we had gratitude, we wouldn’t have a food system that cranks out soulless food.

Namaste, Shri

© Shri Yannam